The Prophet ﷺ’s second son-in-law was Uthman ibn Affan (RA), who later became the third caliph of Islam. Known for his gentleness, modesty, and immense generosity, Uthman first married the Prophet’s ﷺ daughter Ruqayyah. Their marriage, though loving, was cut short.
During the preparation for the Battle of Badr, Ruqayyah fell gravely ill. Uthman faced a difficult choice: should he join the battle or stay behind to care for his ailing wife? The Prophet ﷺ himself resolved Uthman’s dilemma, saying:
“You need not join us in the battle. Stay and care for Ruqayyah. You will still earn the reward of those who participated in Badr.”
Ruqayyah passed away during the battle. Uthman, grieving deeply, was later married to the Prophet’s ﷺ third daughter, Umm Kulthum. This union also ended in loss when Umm Kulthum passed away in 9 AH (AD 630). The Prophet ﷺ personally attended her burial, sitting beside her grave and shedding tears of sorrow. Ali, Fadl, Usama, and Abu Talha lowered her into the grave with tender care.
Having married two daughters of the Prophet ﷺ, Uthman was given the honorable title Dhun-Nurayn—the possessor of two lights. The Prophet ﷺ, moved by Uthman’s character, once remarked,
“If I had another daughter, I would marry her to Uthman.”
“RISE, O FATHER OF DUST”: ON ALI AND FATIMAH
The longest-lasting marital bond among the Prophet’s ﷺ children was that of Fatimah and Ali (RA). Their life together was often seen as the ideal example of a simple, yet profoundly loving marriage. Ali entered this union with few possessions, but the Prophet ﷺ ensured that he was equipped with what he needed to build a home with Fatimah.
Their marriage was not without its share of challenges, reflecting the natural dynamics of any close relationship. The occasional disagreements, often described as playful spats, are not marks of discord but signs of a bond being strengthened through mutual growth.
Once, the Prophet ﷺ visited Fatimah and noticed that Ali was not home. He asked,
“Where is Ali?”
Fatimah, hesitating for a moment, admitted,
“We had a small disagreement. He grew upset and left.”
The Prophet ﷺ sent someone to locate Ali, who was found resting at the mosque. When the Prophet ﷺ arrived, Ali was lying on the ground, his mantle fallen off his shoulder and dust clinging to his body.
The Prophet ﷺ knelt beside him, gently brushing the dust from Ali’s shoulder, and with a warm smile, said,
“Rise, O Father of Dust (Abu Turab).”
From that day forward, Ali cherished the affectionate nickname Abu Turab, given by the Prophet ﷺ during a moment of love and reconciliation. The Prophet ﷺ never probed into their disagreement, nor did he assign blame. Instead, his approach exemplified compassion and wisdom—calming the situation and restoring harmony.
The Prophet ﷺ’s actions in this instance are a lesson for in-laws, particularly in today’s world where misunderstandings and disputes often escalate, leading to strained relationships and even broken homes.
The Prophet ﷺ demonstrated deep wisdom in dealing with the situation. Instead of questioning Fatimah about the disagreement or assigning blame to Ali, he avoided delving into the details of their personal matters. This highlights an essential principle for today’s in-laws: do not intervene unnecessarily in the private affairs of a couple. Often, excessive questioning or taking sides can amplify conflicts rather than resolve them.
The Prophet ﷺ also avoided harsh criticism or judgment. He approached Ali with warmth and humor, affectionately calling him “Father of Dust” (Abu Turab), and gently brushed the dust from his shoulder. This approach underscores another key lesson: offer comfort and reconciliation, not judgment. In times of discord, in-laws should focus on being a calming presence, helping to restore harmony rather than exacerbating tensions.
Additionally, the Prophet ﷺ modeled restraint and respect for boundaries. He didn’t press either Ali or Fatimah to relive or explain their disagreement. Instead, he prioritized their well-being and emotional connection, allowing them the space to resolve matters themselves. This serves as a reminder for modern families: respect the autonomy of the couple. While guidance and support are valuable, it is crucial not to undermine their ability to navigate their relationship independently.
Finally, the Prophet ﷺ’s ability to resolve the situation with kindness, wisdom, and patience reminds us that relationships require nurturing, not control. In-laws today can take inspiration from this example to foster environments of love, support, and understanding, ensuring that conflicts are resolved with empathy and that bonds are strengthened, not broken. By embodying these virtues, families can work towards harmony and mutual respect, creating a foundation for lasting relationships.
A Father’s Quiet Encouragement
The Prophet ﷺ’s influence on Ali and Fatimah extended to their spiritual lives. Ali recalled how the Prophet ﷺ would knock gently on their door at night, calling,
“Are you not praying?”
On one occasion, Ali replied playfully,
“Our souls are in Allah’s hands. If He wills, He will awaken us.”
The Prophet ﷺ, smiling at Ali’s response, gently tapped his thigh and recited a verse from Surah Al-Kahf:
“But man is ever more argumentative than anything.”
This interaction showed the Prophet’s ﷺ balance of encouragement and humor, fostering spiritual growth without coercion.
On another occasion, the Prophet ﷺ gifted Ali a silk garment. Ali, wearing it out of excitement, stepped outside. Upon seeing him, the Prophet ﷺ remarked,
“Ali, I did not give it to you to wear. Silk is not permitted for men. Give it to Fatimah for her to use as a head covering.”
The Prophet ﷺ’s subtle guidance extended beyond words, setting an example for simplicity and modesty in family life.
Through his actions, the Prophet ﷺ embodied the ideal of a father-in-law—not just as a figure of authority but as a source of love, guidance, and reconciliation. He supported his daughters and sons-in-law in times of need, resolved their disputes with gentleness, and guided them in both worldly and spiritual matters.
Whether sitting by a daughter’s grave, comforting a son-in-law with a touch and a kind word, or fostering spiritual growth in his family, the Prophet ﷺ left an enduring message of mercy and wisdom. He was, to Ali and Fatimah, not just a father-in-law but also a teacher, a friend, and a source of unconditional support.
